The Parrot Dream

Photo Courtesy of Hideaway Farms Aviary

wasting away

imprisoned within

was he

plumage once

brilliant now dull

quite grey

how could she

have forgotten

glorious he?

morning’s light glints

off metal lock of

rusting cage

she takes note

memories rushing

guilt coursing

trembling she

attempts to make

amends awkwardly

placing wet offering

quenching parched,

aching thirst 

thinking he need

be grateful to she

this act of kindness

Instead he greedily

sucks dry, to his fill, 

and beyond

Horrified, she bears

witness to this

self imploding

this exploding,

bursting from within,

feathers flying

she was either

too late, or

not yet ready

to face fears

locked away

later realizing

what you feed

will grow beyond

all proportion

serenity found

by turning the key...

addiction set free

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The above free form poem is from a recently recalled dream I had when I was in my 20's (and in the throes of an eating disorder). I dreamt of a formerly beautiful parrot, locked within a cage. I had forgotten and neglected this bird for far too long. He was terribly emaciated, molting, no food or water to be found anywhere near. I gently placed a bowl of water within its cage. The bird eagerly lapped it up, but it was too much, too soon. It didn't know when to stop and ended up destroying itself. I was horrified. 

Fast forward 25 years. One morning last week I was at the kitchen sink. Something in the backyard caught my eye. It was a parrot! A large bird with green plumage and a crimson head. It looked just like the parrot that was in my dream. Fearing that the bird was lost I went outside to see if I could catch him, but he flew away. I haven't seen him since. 

Do the two things (one a dream/one a real occurrence) have anything to do with each other? I believe so. I feel that my God is telling me that the caged bird is now free...I have nothing to fear, not even surfacing memories. I am no longer on the path to self destruction but rather I am on the right path. I am exactly where I am meant to be as I continue to "trudge the road" towards my happy destiny.