The Spider Dream

I experienced a particularly disturbing dream one night. I had been bicycling. It had gotten late. I decided to stop along the main street of a tiny town and wait for my brother, whom I left far behind. While waiting, curiosity got the best of me and I decided to investigate the dusty cellar of an old brownstone...an ancient shop long closed. Cobwebs, bugs, debris, and cloudy apothecary bottles were scattered about. I spied the dead spider up on the window ledge facing the street. I have no idea what possessed me to pick it up and eat it. I was pleasantly surprised to find the crunchy carcass tasted very much like Cheerios. 

The Parrot Dream

Photo Courtesy of Hideaway Farms Aviary

wasting away

imprisoned within

was he

plumage once

brilliant now dull

quite grey

how could she

have forgotten

glorious he?

morning’s light glints

off metal lock of

rusting cage

she takes note

memories rushing

guilt coursing

trembling she

attempts to make

amends awkwardly

placing wet offering

quenching parched,

aching thirst 

thinking he need

be grateful to she

this act of kindness

Instead he greedily

sucks dry, to his fill, 

and beyond

Horrified, she bears

witness to this

self imploding

this exploding,

bursting from within,

feathers flying

she was either

too late, or

not yet ready

to face fears

locked away

later realizing

what you feed

will grow beyond

all proportion

serenity found

by turning the key...

addiction set free

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The above free form poem is from a recently recalled dream I had when I was in my 20's (and in the throes of an eating disorder). I dreamt of a formerly beautiful parrot, locked within a cage. I had forgotten and neglected this bird for far too long. He was terribly emaciated, molting, no food or water to be found anywhere near. I gently placed a bowl of water within its cage. The bird eagerly lapped it up, but it was too much, too soon. It didn't know when to stop and ended up destroying itself. I was horrified. 

Fast forward 25 years. One morning last week I was at the kitchen sink. Something in the backyard caught my eye. It was a parrot! A large bird with green plumage and a crimson head. It looked just like the parrot that was in my dream. Fearing that the bird was lost I went outside to see if I could catch him, but he flew away. I haven't seen him since. 

Do the two things (one a dream/one a real occurrence) have anything to do with each other? I believe so. I feel that my God is telling me that the caged bird is now free...I have nothing to fear, not even surfacing memories. I am no longer on the path to self destruction but rather I am on the right path. I am exactly where I am meant to be as I continue to "trudge the road" towards my happy destiny.

Monday Musings: December 12, 2011

During Mass yesterday morning the visiting priest, a diehard Carolina Panther fan, was certain to offer up several prayers for a Sunday afternoon victory. On our way to the game I said to Munchie Boy that I didn’t think it mattered to God who wins or loses a game and that prayers for such are most likely pointless. (Although I've been known to mutter a "Oh, please, God, oh please, oh please" a time or two myself) My son then protested that he prays for the Panthers to win all the time. I told him I was just trying to make a point and that his prayers couldn't hurt!

Long story short…we lost the game to the Atlanta Falcons 23-31 (after being ahead 23-7 at the end of the 1st half). On our way back to our car, Munchie looks to me and says, “Mom...I don’t think God is a Panther’s fan!” 

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My dreams of battling Evil continue. However, they have recently taken an interesting turn. A recurring theme in my dreams is the ability to hover and glide a foot off the floor. In my most recent dream my hovering morphed into flying! It was such a pleasure to soar above the tree lines and rooftops. This new ability has made it so much easier to evade and to spy on that dastardly Evil.

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Dear Dryer Repair Man,

Thanks to you, we now have clean underwear. Thanks to you, we’ve been able to spend the entire weekend catching up on 2 ½ weeks worth of dirty laundry. Thanks to you, the dryer is working overtime and functioning like new. Thanks to you, we did not have to purchase a major appliance with our Christmas funds.

I think I love you!

A grateful 5^th

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Dear Santa,

We must have been awfully good this past year for you to take the time out of your busy schedule to visit us and our neighbors! What a treat!

Merrily yours,

The 5^th on your list!

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Dear Charlotte Children's Choir,

What a joy it has been to see Bethany mature and hone her talent through the 7 years she has been a member. It is with a sad and heavy heart that she must take this upcoming semester off. School has to be a priority right now. 

Your Holiday concert was a delight. I hope you don't mind me sharing with my blog friends the piece combining the choirs. Beautiful, just beautiful!

Already missing you,

Music lovin' 5th