Thursday, March 8, 2012

Hope Chest


childhood dreams, neatly folded, safely tucked away

wrapped within whitewashed sheets, cleansed with salty tears

victim of perverted desires, to demons falling prey

childhood dreams, neatly folded, safely tucked away

buried ‘neath  emptied bottles of Zin and Chardonnay

locked away in rotting trunk, forgotten were those years

childhood dreams, neatly folded, safely tucked away

wrapped within whitewashed sheets, cleansed with salty tears

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In addition to my usual Friday 55 post (although I had a lead foot and exceeded the speed limit just a bit) I decided to participate in d'Verse Poet's Pub challenge: compose a TRIOLET. What is a triolet you ask. It is a poem composed of 8 lines with an ABaAabAB rhyme scheme. The first, fourth, and seventh lines are identical; the second and the last lines are also identical. 


17 comments:

razzamadazzle said...

Great writing. It certainly packs a punch with it's serious topic.

Alice Audrey said...

You've got me feeling around in the back of my own head, looking for those dreams I know must have been there, but that I can no longer find.

Yvonne Osborne said...

I love the repetition. This reminds me of a villanelle. Very nice. It's not easy to write in form.

Brian Miller said...

you slayed this polly...wow, nicely done...well played to form...and nice on the story telling in between...

G-Man said...

Pollyanna...
Very hard hitting, welcome back
Loved your 55
You did fine on Both prompts.
Thanks for playing, people worry about you ya know... Have a Kick Ass Week-End

Semaphore said...

Well-balanced triolet, grounded but straying just north of terrific.

Claudia said...

the folding and tucking away of childhood dreams has just something terribly sad to it...and the repetition makes it hauntingly sad.. well played on the form polly

hedgewitch said...

A hard topic to write about--I've tried. Perhaps form makes it a little easier, but regardless, this is solid, honest and well drawn, and the repeat lines hit a strong note of mournfulness.

MomsJournal said...

Very well done. A delicate touch on a tough topic.

Beachanny said...

This has the feel of a "break up and start over" without being starkly stated. I like the subtlety and musicality of it. Well done.

rumoursofrhyme said...

A difficult and dark subject handled sensitively yet powerfully.

Bodhirose said...

You captured the harsh darkness of lost hope...childhood lost... so very well...nicely done.

Sue said...

Powerful, Polly. And I loved the form.

=)

Nara Malone said...

The form really brings home the loss of innocence and illusions. Powerful write.

Doctor FTSE said...

Well executed triolet with nicely balanced lines.

Lydia said...

hedgewitch said it for me. This is stark, reflective, heartbreaking. Makes me grateful to my mother for leaving my father.....

Christine said...

very powerful

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