Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Tuesday's Truth: 1st Dates Gone Bad!



My friend Nicole, from Tattoos and Teething Rings has been wanting to host a writing prompt for all of us to share in. She plunged in feet first and gave us 2 interesting topics to choose from:


How I met my spouse
or
My worst 1st date


Since I have already told the amusing tale of how Mr. Sister and I got together (go HERE if you haven't read it), I will give you snippets of some of the more memorable crappy 1st dates I have experienced. Seeing how I didn't find Mr. Sister until my late 20's I have a plethora of examples to choose from. I will choose 5 to share.


1.  The blind date who lifted up his shirt and patted his belly after EVERY SINGLE TIME he took a bite of dinner. I found out, during the entree course, that he was (EGADS!) a male stripper! I never, ever spoke again to the friend that set us up.


2.  Leisure Suit Larry and the pool hall. I really don't want to say anymore. It was painful. "Shudder".


3.  Another blind date...we met for dinner at a very fancy restaurant on the Country Club Plaza in KC. I was taken aback when he walked up and introduced himself to me. He was much, much shorter than me and I am 5'2". I thought to myself...poor guy, I'll give him a chance. He proceeded to be the biggest jerk I have ever met...mean to the wait staff, crude, rude and just plain nasty and ill tempered. I deduced he was suffering from "short man syndrome"...you know the type, trying to make up for the lack of stature with their perverted view of machismo. I was appalled and let him know it. I was even more appalled that he had the nerve to ask me out on a 2nd date! I got up and left. Thank God I drove myself to the restaurant!


4.  Technically not a 1st date but a 2nd (but it is too crappy/creepy not to share) was the man who thought going to a porn flick was a great idea. Uh, no thank you, and take me home right now, please!!!


5. This next one is not a "worst" 1st date, just an odd one:  I was a student at the University of Kansas Medical Center. It was my junior year I had a dorm room on the medical campus...just a bedroom and bath. Kitchen facilities were in the basement of the student union so I went down there to prepare a snack/dinner. I met a cute doctor who was a resident at the time at the medical center. We met while I was heating up my bagel for dinner. I told him how, although I was a student in the Respiratory Therapy program, I had worked in the field for approximately 4 years already. He asked where I currently worked and I told him....Menorah Medical Center (a local Jewish hospital). He then asked me out on a date. I agreed. We went to a grill for dinner and then took in the local jazz scene. He was pretty nice, telling me all about his family and how I should meet them someday. We were having a great time until...he asked THE question. What question was that? He asked what synagogue I went to. I looked at him blankly and said, "I'm not Jewish". He then quickly paid the tab, murmured his apologies saying he was looking for a "good Jewish girl". Apparently I gave the initial impression of fitting that image. Oh well. At least he had the courtesy to take this gentile girl back to her home. 


There you have it...some pretty bad dates, huh? If you would like to read more stories, please visit Mr. McLinky over at Tattoos and Teething Rings today!

21 comments:

Anonymous said...
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Willoughby said...

Great stories!

What is it with the short man syndrome? It's rare to meet a short man who doesn't have it.

Julie Schuler said...

Someone actually takes a date to a porn movie? Like Robert Deniro in Taxi Driver!?

Mumsy said...

All awesomely "awful" first dates! It's great to look back and laugh though..

Tracy said...

WOW. My only bad one was my prom, and yes, it was a first date (don't ask, lol)

Erin said...

I am ROFL---did he think that the bagel + working at Menorah meant that you were Jewish? OMG. I know soooo many people who go to Menorah who aren't Jewish.

WHat restaurant did you go to on the Plaza? Wonder if it's still there....??

Brian Miller said...

lol. these are hillarious...

psycho...totally freaked out and ran away from the car at the end of the date when i would not commit to another...ran off down the street in the rain...i think she eventually came home...her dad did not seem surprised....

Angelia Sims (Texas) said...

Hi Polly!

I saw your note on Weezers site and wanted to come by.

I love bad date stories! Sick I know. I guess because there is so much humor to find in them.

The "short man" one cracked me up. My friend and I met one like that, we both turned him down. In revenge, he glared at us all night and couldn't believe we didn't want HIM since he was all that.

Woah.

Great stories. Thanks for sharing.

Tattoos and Teething Rings said...

Those are hilarious in a glad-it-wasn't-me kinda way! I giggled at the Jewish one; seriously?! I can't believe he just assumed you were Jewish, and that it even mattered so much that you weren't. And the porn guy? EWWW.

Steven Anthony said...

a stripper and a porn flick...oh my lol

Ms Bibi said...

Honestly, I haven't met a short man without the short man syndrome. It's awful to say that, but that's the truth.

....and what's wrong with going to see a porn flick on a first date? (just kiddin')....how inappropriate

Nessa said...

Wow. You've had some dozzies.

Tales on Tuesday - Lost in Space

the domestic mama said...

I'm wee myself (4'11"and 3/4") and my friend would always set me up with short guys. And yes- most had ISSUES. LOL! Love your post today!

Haddock said...

But how did he jump to that conclusion (that you are a jew)

AJ said...

classic! I love it! I liked the man who patted his stomach after every bite. Odd, but slightly amusing! HAHA!

Weezer said...

You crack me up! Really. I'm sitting here, with my dog at my feet, and laughing out loud at you. You're hysterical! Love these stories.
Hope you're doing well and enjoying the warmer weather.

Midday Escapades said...

Whoa, you've got some amazing ones there. I don't think any of mine would come even close. :0)

Kathleen said...

OMGoodness! You've had some humdingers! I went on a first (and only) date with a guy from work. He took me to a comedy club and wanted to sit up front. And I mean up front, like my left elbow was resting on the stage. Of course, I got picked on my the comedians. One of them referred to me with a female anatomical part. Fun, fun!

Mr. Stupid said...

HAHA. These were hilarious. Awful first dates.
I am glad, I haven't had one yet...:)

Holly said...

I think that was one of my relatives - the one who would lift up his shirt and pat his belly.

There ya go fooling people by the hospital you worked at. Never assume.

Don't remembering these makes us happy we found a good one!

gayle said...

I didn't like dating different boys!!

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